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Emotional Self Regulation,Resilience & Coherence -“what are these things she keeps posting?” you ask

What is resilience and emotional self-regulation and what does energy management have to do with it?

If like me, you have and still on occasion experience moments when you don’t have much energy or maybe using phrases such as “I’m drained”, “I’m exhausted” or you just can’t describe how you are feeling that is when your resilience is low.

So what exactly is resilience and how can you get more of it?

No, you can’t purchase it from your local store or get Amazon to deliver it - like ‘happiness;’ its an inside job! Resilience can be thought of as the capacity to prepare for, recover from and adapt stress, challenge or adversity. Resilience means being able to adapt to life's misfortunes and setbacks. If you lack resilience, you might dwell on problems, feel victimised, be a drama Queen or King, become overwhelmed or turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, over eating and alcohol etc.

By building greater resilience you will be better prepared and have greater flexibility to make smarter decisions and keep calm in challenging situations. Having greater resilience doesn’t mean you won’t experience challenges or trauma in your life, what it does mean is that you will have the internal capacity that will give you the strength and resolve to handle what comes up in your life.

A client of mine experienced a financial situation whereby he could lose his home; he applied for mortgages however kept being turned down - this could and would normally be a very stressful situation however we noticed at one of our sessions that he wasn’t stressed, he was completely calm, was sleeping well and felt great; these feelings showed us he was in an emotionally-resilient state and this, in my opinion manifested into attracting a lender and he kept his home.

He reported that prior to learning these techniques I can also teach you, he would have been in a terrible state and would not have been able to focus, deal with (which is why he got into a financial pickle in the first place) and said matter-of-factly… “I would have been suicidal”. This gentleman is making great progress in all areas of his life now and is using the techniques taught to bring a sense of resilience, coherence and appreciation to each day, no matter what life throws at him.

When you learn and apply the energy management skills, you can increase your capacity to build your energy reserves. You then have more energy to draw upon when you need it. If you do not monitor and manage your energy, you deplete it and it makes it more difficult to deal with situations because you cannot respond in an optimal state.

Resilience is like a battery, it is the energy you use and includes not just the physical, but the mental and emotional too. Fear is one of the lowest vibrational emotions that will deplete you faster than anything, this is why I advise people to also turn the TV off.

When you are depleted, you are not in a place to think clearly and will have a tendency to over-react to situations rather than act and make better decisions and informed choices, which is a more resilient behaviour to have.

Imagine getting in to your car and finding the car battery has died - you are not going to get off the driveway, let alone go about your day in a constructive, coherent manner are you? This is exactly what happens when you are depleted. You don’t need to call the RAC or Greenfly to rescue you when you are depleted, you can call and book in for coaching as its far more effective and you will be coached emotional self regulation skills for life.

There are four primary domains of resilience; these being emotional, physical, mental and spiritual, its important to pay attention to all four domains as they overlap and each affects the other.

Coherence is an optimal state of functioning and brings forth resilience. When the heart, mind, gut and emotions all work together, we are then in a state of coherence. Research shows us that when one is under stress and experiencing depleting emotions like anger and frustration, they will generate incoherent or chaotic signals in the heart rhythms. This limits the brains ability to process information affecting decision-making, problem-solving and creativity. Reactions slow down and coordination is impaired, which helps us to understand why we can’t ‘think clearly’ when we get upset, irritated or angry.

When one uses the coherence techniques taught, one learns to generate coherence within minutes and this brings their physical, mental and emotional systems into alignment.

Some of the benefits from being coherent include however are not limited too:

  • Optimises performance

  • Develops faster reaction times and better coordination

  • Facilitates better sleep

  • Increases the ability to think more clearly, to stay focused and make better decisions

  • Enhances the ability to recover quickly from mental, physical and emotional stressors

  • Effective communication in challenging times

  • You will approach situations with more emotional balance, compassion, clarity and personal confidence

  • More intuitive

  • Reduces stress, drama and energy waste

  • Increased productivity and creativity

  • More vitality and an increase in energy

  • Better health over time

I use a range of bio-feedback tools to help myself and my clients to train to be more resilient and coherent, this is fully explained in the 1:1 sessions.

In order to be in a more coherent optimal state of being, we are working to gain a minimum of 300 points per session, the achievement score varies for every session as seen in the photo below. The higher the score, the longer we carry over the energy we need to keep our vehicle (aka ‘the body’) to stay in an optimum state.

In a coaching session you will be taught how to restore emotional balance right in the moment you need it. Learn how to synchronise your heart, mind, and body to reset your composure and inner clarity, calm reactive emotions, and neutralise stress. This creates an inner state we call ‘coherence’.

With practice, you’ll feel calmer, more centred and focused – and enjoy a 'carryover effect' into your next activity and day ahead. You will access more intuitive discernment to make better decisions.

These self-empowering biofeedback tools use heart rhythm feedback to tell you when you’re on the right track. A quick and easy 3-5 minute session a few times a day is enough to make a meaningful difference. Invest in your own health and wellbeing today.

Contact me at

With love and appreciation, always x


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